In a recent Focus on the Family broadcast, host Jim Daly sits down with Lisa Turkhurst, president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, to explore why many people feel compelled to micromanage every aspect of their lives and how that impulse is rooted in fear rather than power.

What Drives the Need to Control?

Lisa points out that the line between responsible stewardship and controlling interference is thin. She describes how people often cross that line to keep their underlying fear at bay, whether the setting is work, marriage, or parenting.

Control as a Mask for Compassion

Both speakers discuss how the desire to “help” can turn into a controlling stance. They use the story of Jesus sleeping in the storm and the disciples’ plea for Him to wake up to illustrate the tension between loving concern and overstepping boundaries.

Breaking Fear into Manageable Pieces

Lisa offers a practical way to understand the fear that fuels control. She identifies four components: the initial alarm, the memories that surface, the story the mind tells itself, and the response that follows. By pausing when threatened, reflecting on past memories, and adjusting perceptions, listeners can begin to respond differently.

Surrendering the Uncontrollable

Using the example of Judas and the broader theme of trusting God’s plan, the conversation turns to how surrendering control—especially over children and loved ones—can lead to peace. Lisa emphasizes that while we can manage what we can, the outcomes of others belong to God, a point she ties back to stories of parenting, marriage, and personal faith journeys.

To hear how these ideas unfold in conversation and to discover practical steps for shifting from controlling to trusting, listen to the full Focus on the Family broadcast.